


Lonely Hearts - Avengers Style

by ShallowGenePool



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humor, Implied Bretty, Implied Iron Husbands, Implied Relationships, Implied Soviet Soulmates, Implied Stoki, Implied ThorSif, Lonely hearts column, M/M, Multi, implied ScarletVision
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 23:29:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8264410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShallowGenePool/pseuds/ShallowGenePool
Summary: “Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist with narcissistic tendencies seeks willing partner for no strings fun.  Must be able to handle hard liquor, long nights and have an affinity for robotics.  Gender unimportant, morals must be left at the door.”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lizphills500](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizphills500/gifts).



> This is what happens when chatting with the Fandom Wife (Like a work wife, but with fic writing) over messenger, and a plot bunny savages you both.. It’s all Liz’s fault.

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist with narcissistic tendencies seeks willing partner for no strings fun.  Must be able to handle hard liquor, long nights and have an affinity for robotics.  Gender unimportant, morals must be left at the door.”

 

“98 year old inexperienced patriotic male, seeking a friend, possibly more.  Must be male, with a preference for green eyes and dark hair, curls would be an added bonus.  Looking for someone out of this world, with a mischievous disposition.”

 

“FORMER NORSE GOD OF THUNDER, SEEKING FEMALE COMPANIONSHIP.  MUST BE ABLE TO HANDLE A MIGHTY HAMMER AND HAVE STAMINA TO MATCH.  MANY PICTURES AVAILABLE ON REQUEST.”

 

“Red headed former assassin, Russian emigre with a love for guns and sharp weapons seeks like minded male companion for angry hate sex and nights in watching black and white movies.  Amputees welcome.”

 

“Always hits the mark!  Wisecracking archer with a love of heights seeks understanding female company.  Must be willing to understand long absences and possible infidelities whilst maintaining well hidden home and possible family.  Caw caw motherfuckers.”

 

“Introverted male with anger management issues seeks friendship and more with shy unassuming female.  Must project a calm aura and have a way with savage beasts.  Love of the colour green essential.”

 

“Magical mystery woman seeks American national for a caring yet non sexual relationship.  Prefers a cold metallic shell of a person, partner must be understanding of possible cultural differences.  No HYDRA applicants accepted.”

 

“Ageing air force pilot seeks female companion.  Must be able to put up with annoying narcissistic best friend with boundary issues.  Open minded with regard to said best friend, and possibility of threesomes at some point in the future.”

 

“Dark haired non-binary Jotun seeks long-term male companionship.  Must have an open mind and an appreciation for the arcane arts.  Blond hair, blue eyes and an athletic figure preferred,  Must believe strongly in second chances and redemption.  A deep appreciation of red and blue essential.”

 

“Angry Asgardian female seeks angry Asgardian male, must be blond, must be blue eyed, must own a mystical hammer that they are deemed worthy of. NO other applicants may apply.”


End file.
